I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize