My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed