My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.