Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
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hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
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Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.