The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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