i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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