wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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