U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
