Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
