see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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