Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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