Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
