What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
