I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
false alarm, still single
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