I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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