It's like God shit irony all over that family
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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