PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize