So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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