We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
