bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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