Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
