Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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