yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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