And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize