Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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