Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize