I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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