if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize