I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
