watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize