dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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