Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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