I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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