So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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