i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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