Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize