First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize