Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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