Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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