So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
