whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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