Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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