There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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