whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize