I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
