apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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