I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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