she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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