You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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