Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
