and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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