Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize